JustaBlog

Lovely...

Well normally when I blog I copy and paste as I type into a wordpad in case it crashes and I lose everything, which of course has happened. Alas I thought I'd be fine, I just didn't do it for some reason and just lost what for me anyways is a HUGE post. I am not going to attempt to recreate it. Especially since part of it was about time management and my attempts at conquering that foe. I don't have the time to recreate it lol.

Hmm.. short version... life is crazy. We are homesick. We are a LONG ways from saving enough to move. The idea that I HAVE to design for us to move is zapping my creativity. The Rad Elements are nowhere near done. I have a few new things to go in the store after the gals return from CHA. Some Stockpile goodies and a kit or two. Here's one kit that will drop soon and GASP a layout I made from it. I wish I had the time and energy to do layouts with all my kits. I love when people have layouts that go with new kits. I just couldn't get the preview to do this kit justice so a layout might help.


Well since it's been ages since I attempted this blog entry I need to go feed children, clean the house, do laundry, and all the things I usually have done by this time each day that I have sabotaged :) :)

Later gators. And since the real entry that got lost had more of me and less business and this ended up more business and less me, next time I'll talk more about what's going on in my world :)

A quick post

I always say the post is going to be short. It never really is. So here I go again. This is going to be a quick post.

I have 6 of the 7 paper packs done now. I am really struggling with the last color pallete. I thought I had them all set but now as the packs are done the last one is too redundant and I need one last one. Argh. Yunno I was reading through a "show me good boy kits" thread at DST. Someone called my Rad Collectino (the first one) an oldie but a goodie. I cracked up. Man this industry is quick paced. I mean when I think of an oldie but a goodie it's something by Jen Wilson from 2004 :) My Rad Collection is really only what? 5 months old now lol. I guess it's old by digiscrap standards but man that really wasn't that long ago. And I still love it as much as I ever did. That's awesome. I love looking back at kits that I love just as much as the day I bought them. That doesn't always happen. I have lots of kits that I wonder how I thought I was really going to be able to use them. And surprise surprise I never have used them. Well at this point I don't have ANY money in my scrap budget and won't until I get totally moved back to TN. For the next 6 months or more I will not be buying anything new. It's hard not to. There are so many new fresh ideas out there that I want. Some of the new messy stitches, the lilypad elements, etc. just rock and I miss them without even having them lol! But I am so homesick it is all worth it. I think tonight is going to be the night we put together the finalized budget for moving.

HA! You know somehow I stepped away from this post and TOTALLY forgot about it :) I need to leave in 10 minutes to go get Clay from work so I guess this really will be a quick post. SOOO I have all the paper packs done. The last color palette was something I was toying with but unsure since it's a tad risky colorwise IMO for most boys but in the end I love it. Now ONE of the papers I still need to tweak I think. Too boring. But want a little tiny sneak of the papers? I am in an orange mode so there are a few nice orange papers. I had been asked for more red here and there so did that as well.

So at least you can see the colors. I think I am going to take a few days off before I start the elements for it. I need to get started on some element packs I have ideas for. The big struggle now is being able to balance my new element ideas and the Rad elements. I tend to get obsessed with a new collection and just want to pour ALL my ideas into it. It'll be hard for me to judge whether to go all out and make an element pack of my idea or do one or two and put it in a Rad kit. Maybe I"ll start by doing the girlie element packs this weekend.

EEk gotta leave in 6 minutes, need to get dressed and change a diaper. Um.. gotta run. AND to all I owe emails to... I am working on getting on them! I have what seems like a billion emails I need to answer. Really though in the neighborhood of 40. *sigh* :) :)

Quick Thursday Ramblings

Ahh trying to blog here and there so here it is Thursday and I"ll ramble a little bit. Not much as the kitchen is a disaster and I need to deal with that before bed :)

So.. scrapping news. Honestly I took a little time off design wise. But I am happy to say that I am done with THREE of the seven paper packs for the new RAD collection :) Sorry that I lost all my emails and lost all the insanely fabulous swatches you guys sent me for the contest. Ce la vie at this point though eh? If there are any need to have boy elements you have been wishing someone would make drop me a line and I'll do my best to accomodate. I have lots of element ideas for the collection though. Exciting for sure. THOUGH I can't seem to find my big idea notebook ARGH. It has months worth of design ideas in it. Tomorrow I will be a woman on a mission to find it. Starting next week I should have at least element packs coming out regularly. I get so stuck in a collection rut. Instead of putting out one fabulous kit (like Michelle Coleman who I idolize for her single mindedness as a designer - I LONG for that kind of design ability) I get unsure of myself and question the kit and then feel like I need 5 kits that match it somehow and make them a collection. It's really more of a self esteem thing than anything. I feel sheltered and safe by putting out a collection. It's almost like there is no way to deny something is gorgeous when it is paired with other pretty things - like walking into a fabulous vintage fabric store. It just blows you away to see it all at once but if someone were to show you one single piece of fabric you might not enjoy it. But you would buy it if you saw it next to 5 other shabby fabrics and could visualize the quilt. I guess I need to get over it and have some faith in those lone kits (I have one right now 90% done on my computer that I just haven't wanted to finish until I had two other kits to go with it). Hmm maybe I'll finish it this weekend and have it for next week. See? Talked myself into it. One would think I was totally crazy if they saw me sit here and have this conversation with myself so doing it here legitimizes my madness. So a kit, element packs and in a few weeks, a new Rad collection eh? I'm so excited. I am loving this Rad so far. It's scary to think about it having to measure up to the success of the first one, but yunno, even if people find it inferior there is a huge need for boy kits and I hope that it will be helpful to those of you out there that struggle to scrap those boys and especially teens. I really am focusing on trying to make some patterns and colors that will work great for teens. Took a few of the color palletes from some funky skate sweatshirts. So hopefully you will all see some new stuff from me soon. Actually Clay and I have decided that I really need to start spending time everyday designing again. If I can keep my income at a certain level throughout this saving to move process then we can make our time deadline. It's times like these I am envious of some other designers since in two or three months they make enough designing to pay for my whole move lol. But just needs I need to put in the man hours. So expect all my little ideas to be coming to fruition more than ever over the next number of months. OKAY enough rambling about how I HOPE to be productive. Doesn't always happen with me does it? Maybe I can get enough of you to kick my in the rear when weeks go by and nothing new comes out from me eh? LOL!!!

I just realized that I have still not put but maybe one layout in the DST gallery, I have about 40 layouts that I have done that need posting. But man I always feel like I want them in a certain order and never get around to making that list and saving them in the right file size. And who knows the credits for all of them? And hey what is the best time to post layouts at DST? When do you think that you get the most comments? I know that seems so lame eh? But after not posting for around 7 months I am feeling commentless lol! Here why don't I post one that no one has seen? Just for kicks. This is an old one. The date says July of 2006. BUt I still love it :)

See? Now there is some proof that I can scrap. Sometimes I doubt it myself. I seem to only do it once every two months now. But time is precious these days and it's hard to find the time to do something that takes me hours and hours.

Um.. no comment on my new schedule and organizational goals. That's all I am going to say about that tonight LOL.

Okay another ramble coming. It will be short. So remember that Ultimate Digiscrapper Contest last year? Well I made it to the finals. The assignment was to predict the next new trend. Well I didn't get near the top few in the finals. Fine. But here's the deal. SO my thoughts were that the next new trend was a focus on extreme realism. I scanned a lot of things for my entry (at the time only Katie P and Gina Cabrera had scanned flowers out) and used artrage to paint on my layout, had scanned sequins, etc. etc. SO my feeling was that the next new trend was extreme realism - paint, scanned stuff, etc. a FOCUS on things being as realistic as possible. As the year has passed i really think that my trend idea was the only one that really seemed to come to fruition. Animated layouts, shaped layouts, etc. haven't. Now the top few winning layouts were FABULOUS and I am not saying that I think I should have won, etc. etc. I'm not going down that slippery slope. But I do think that I was right. Everywhere there is an extreme focus on realism. People are loving scanned items more than ever. And paint and painted letters, etc. are all the rage. Just something I was thinking about the other day. Made me smile really. Well a mixed smile to be honest :) :)

Okay okay dishes need to be done. Children need to go to bed. Bought the children some much needed new mattresses (we had some serious issues during our horrible stomach flu that ruined some mattresses ARGH) and I need to find Cassie some clean sheets. Lots to be done.
Later Gators.

A second post?

Hmm two posts in two days eh? Well we haven't gone full blown into our new schedule so I'm taking a quick minute to post before we start our chores, then school, then lunch, then playtime, then clean again then go pick up Clay then.... LOL. Yeah, yeah, I should be doing chores. So sue me. We all know how well chores and I mesh. So I am going to post real quick, read some threads on my two fave Christian women's boards, am posting here, then *sigh* am doing chores. Cassie's still sick so she's exempt but Frank, Adric and I will go at the living room and dining room. Oh and laundry. Argh and the bathroom LOL. And my bedroom. Okay I suppose I will hurry up and finish this post :) :)

Do you ever sit and just wonder almost in despair how people keep it all together? I do more than I care to admit. I don't want to be jealous or covet anything they have or do, but man sometimes it's so hard to feel so behind, to feel like I struggle SO much and well.... hard to not feel like a big ole failure. I'm trying to fix it, but man like Dr. Phil says :) that internal dialogue holds on tight and refuses to let go. Actually for the longest time, years in fact, I just couldn't fully understand the whole internal dialogue thing. I could rationally know what it was and meant but I never would recognize when I would say something to myself. SO about two nights ago, I did something and honestly inside my head I heard myself say "idiot". Now sure it was kind of half hearted and joking. I mean I don't think I go around being totally ugly in my own head, but it was eye opening. I have noticed it more than ever the last couple days. NOW sometimes those little things you tell yourself are true BUT, it is defeating to be so critical of these things you are working on changing.

So I'm sitting here feeling sorry for myself that it seems I have pushed away most of the people that I care about. I really feel like the only person that does this. And I find myself telling myself that of course these people don't talk to you anymore because you're not a good friend. Okay this is true BUT man it sure is hard to feel that way about yourself. I don't know why I do this though. I make friends, people in my life that I really love and care about. Eventually there is this part of me that stops reaching out, that stops putting out the effort that it takes to foster these friendships. What is up with that? I don't want to be lonely. No one does eh? So why have I my WHOLE LIFE done this? I had a best best friend in high school. The closest you could be. I no longer have her in my life. Even lately new friends. People that I miss. Sonya, and CD, and Mere. Members of my family. My poor CT knows full well how I am about this. My great friends in TN. I miss them. I don't talk to them. I swear I feel like the only person in the world who does this. Hmm another thing to pray about and find the root of. To everyone that I love that I haven't talked to - I really do LOVE you and miss you.

SOOO food. Seems like food is such a part of my life. HA! I suppose it is a big part of everyone's life hehe. We can't live without it. Tonight I am going to make the week's menu since I need to go shopping tomorrow. As for today....
B - children had half a bagel&cream cheese and a bowl of applesauce. I had half a WW bagel with a 1 in cube of CC, and 2 eggs.
L - Me - the rest of the leftover salmon, and sauteed zuchinni, the children - a bowl of beans with butter, and maybe some applesauce (my mom bought these 4 HUGE jars of organic applesauce)
D - Everyone else - whole wheat spaghetti with ground turkey meat sauce (I make the best yummy) with a side of spaghetti squash with parmesan cheese. ME - the meat sauce over spaghetti squash instead of pasta.
S - I think I might make myself a small all fruit smoothie with bee pollen for dessert. After all I didn't have any fruit all day on this menu eh? Dessert is called for. Healthy but dessert nonetheless.

I think I am going to post my new schedule tomorrow so if anyone out there who is really organized sees some problem areas in it, you can let me know. I need to get a jpeg copy of it though so that will be tomorrow. And since I hope to really start it tomorrow that'l be good.

Argh off to do chores. :) Yunno no argh. I am learning to embrace my job here and I long to truly find contentment in it. So I will go clean the house, it will make me feel great. Later Gators.

Back

Hey ladies. See Kristy I haven't totally disappeared! :) I definitely am not starting this one out saying I will be doing better in the future about blogging. I always want to but obviously it doesn't happen. Maybe one day.

Boy we have had more sickness here in the last few weeks then we have had in the last seven years combined. I can't wait to get out to the country where there are not 800 different sicknesses floating around at any given moment. Honestly I am really homesick. I couldn't miss TN any more than I do. I don't know how all of you out there that live in the city or even just the suburbs can even stand it. Different strokes for different folks I guess. But I pray God leads us to a way to move back home as soon as possible. There is so much about living in the city that greatly goes against my personality. Eek - having neighbors that can see you. If your curtains are open people can see in your house Ick. Or having to go to the park for children to have wide open space to play in (more wide open than backyards). Having to hear cars outside and not knowing that they are coming to your house. Just the NOISE in general. After two years of living here I think it's finally starting to really get to me. The homesickness is getting bad. I long to go outside and have chickens running around and working in the garden and having children that can run around for 5 hours and never get bored. I miss watching Frankie pull limbs from the woods to make giant bonfire piles or Cassie planting acorns all over the yard. I miss the quiet. Or going outside and knowing there is not people watching me. The woods around are like a warm blanket that makes me feel warm and happy. The quiet, the space, the gardens, the LIFE I have always wanted. I miss my life. My real life. The life that makes me feel complete and content. Ahh hopefully it won't be too long before we can afford to move (moving is SO expensive eh?) I need to pray and pray and pray.

So I have been absent lately. With the sicknesses of all of us it has been so hard. But this has been an interesting time. I have to make life changes. I realized at one point how much of my life was wrapped up in this digital scrapbooking thing. I see SOO many people whose lives are SO wrapped up in it. With SO much time spent on boards, scrapping and designing on top of it, how much real life was I living? I have always struggled with organization, well just homemaking in general. I have longed to be the kind of wife, mother, homekeeper that I know I can be. So time and time again I work on a schedule, etc. and I see that there is just NOT enough time to scrap, design, and spend what seems like hours on the message boards ans still have homecooked meals for my family, exercise, keep a clean house, homeschool my children, and have a stitch of clean laundry done. I still LOVE to design though and don't plan on stopping so don't worry about that. Admittedly the changes I plan on making scare me some in an industry that pays in sales for the amount of time spent being social. But yunno I am not a social butterfly and never will be. My blog will never be a place to find lots of cool purchases and fun goings on. For me, sitting at home reenacting Bible stories or playing with Playdough is as fun as it gets. And that ROCKS. I don't want to go out and buy things and go to cool places. I want to be home building memories or crocheting baby blankets :) My time is best spent teaching Cassie to knit then posting on scrapboards. I surely am not saying that everyone's time is better spent doing other things so please no one take it that way. I WISH I was as together as someone like SuperGina (wuv you chica!) who manages to design, scrap, post tons, shop, do crafts, keep a spotless house and have videos alphabetized. Me? I am lucky to be able to find two shoes for Cassie when it's time to go. I need my life to be slower. Maybe it's the part of me that is homesick for country life that is longing to slow everything down in my life. It really might be. These last few weeks of ickiness has really forced me to confront the reality of how disorganized and well inefficient at keeping a nice home I am. OY. It's SO hard for me. I never had to really do chores or be organized growing up. It is NOT second nature for me. In fact it goes against everything about my personality. I am starting a new journey to get it together. I hope to schedule enough time in everyday to blog a little about my attempts at organizing my life. In the past I had a lot of response to the idea of doing different challenges in this area so hopefully as I get things together I will start those up. But hey can't guarantee it :) I am assuming that the better I get at NOT pouring every ounce of energy I have into this digiscrapping world the more reluctant I will be to assign MORE time and energy into it.

I ad originally planned on talking about other things like movies (DO NOT go see Children of Men Lame) but I feel spent after typing all that. I do have lots more to talk about like my new schedule and cleaning schedule, the weekly menu, etc. Soon enough though. One step at a time.

Later Gators.