To be honest I don't even know HOW to start a blog post anymore. I have typed and deleted what seems like a million sentences. So I'm going to cheese out and go with the whole "I don't know how to start this" thing. Part of me has this desire to go crazy and write the longest blog post ever but I am going to try and control myself so that I have things to talk about in the next few days.
So firstly, we ARE in Tennessee. Yay! I can't begin to explain how happy we are to be here. Before I do anything else, I give the biggest shout out to my mom and all she did for us and ask forgiveness for any messes the children and us made, things that got broken, money she spent, and a list of offenses along those lines that seems endless. She is truly an amazing woman. She dropped everything and took us in and her life got flipped upside down. It was a LONG two years. It isn't easy for anyone to live with their mother and I don't think it any easier for a mother to live with their grown children and their spouses. But thankfully I serve a God that uses everything for His glory and undoubtedly He used the last couple years to work miracles in both mine, Clay's and my mom's life. I watched us all get closer to the Lord and watched in AWE as he healed so much pain in all of us. He changed all of our lives for the better in these years, as trying as they might have been. I can't begin to come up with the words for how amazing God is.
SO... here we are!! In TN!! There is something just magical being where you are happiest. It does something to every part of your life. Chores seem less of a burden. Problems seem easier to work out. Life just seems to move at a slower and more peaceful pace. We are truly beyond happy to be back here. Living in CA for that time reminds me why I hope Lord willing to never have to live in the city again. The mornings where Clay and I sat out on the porch early in the morning looking out at the woods and the foggy mist and marveling at the little birds twittering around before the sun broke through. Those mornings make up for years of struggle. Watching the children's delight as they play outside for hours and never have a chance to get bored. Bored? What's that? Sweeping the front porch with the leaves and the American flag on the house blowing in the wind. Sitting watching chickens peck the ground. Hearing the squeals of happiness as tadpoles (100s of tadpoles) are discovered in the inflatable pool. Looking at my 3 year old with only undies and cowboy boots on. Hearing Clay say that sitting around the dinner table asking the children their favorite thing they did that day really is THE favorite thing that Clay did that day. Hearing the squeaks of little chicks and guinea keets everyone morning. Even dealing with the cries of children that find out that a snake ate some guineas. Eek. The moments that have changed my life, that fill my heart, and make every moment seem sweeter since we've been here. We truly are so happy.
I don't think I'm going to post any pictures right now. Firstly, we don't HAVE a lot of pictures since we've moved here. My lens for my Canon broke and we haven't been able to afford a new one as of yet. In the last handful of days Clay did manage to find my mom's camera. Hmmm... and WHY do we have my mom's camera in TN? Who knows. But anyways we are starting to take a few pictures. I admit it's hard when you get so spoiled with a big fabulous camera to go to an old point and shoot. But we have had a blast taking pictures lately. Tonight or tomorrow I'll start posting some here or there.
Oh yeah I'm pregnant right? Baby's actually due Saturday so could be any moment now. I don't feel ready though. I feel HUGE don't get me wrong but not ready. Hey to think of it we haven't taken ANY pregnancy pictures of me. NEED to do that tonight when Clay gets home so I don't miss the one window I have of a pic with this baby doll inside. But I'm BIG and pregnant. Have done great this go round with my weight gain and healthy eating so that's a plus. But for the first time I'm not feeling exactly ready to go into labor. All the other times I felt ready. I felt up for the challenge. This go round, I'm more anxious and uneasy than other times. Not that something bad will happen, just not ready to actually LABOR. To top it off the midwife said the Vanderbilt's policy (I have birthed two other babies there and not had this problem argh) is that because I'm a vbac I'm supposed to stay on the fetal monitor the whole labor. Now, this would keep me on a 5 foot leash of the bed. Not happening. I can't do an entire labor in bed! Who can? Beds are for sleeping not laboring. I need to get in the shower and sit on the birthing ball, and walk. So dealing with that makes me anxious. Also with some of the low blood sugar issues I had on and off during the pregnancy I need to eat and drink. And again, as a vbac they don't want you to do that. Have they any idea how many calories, how much insanely hard work labor is? How does a person get through 20+ hours of labor (like mine tend to be) without eating or drinking anything except maybe some ice chips or one of two tiny glasses of pasteurized apple juice? No wonder we're all so tired in the end. We just ran a marathon without having eaten for a day. Even when they run big marathons you see them drinking gatorade and eating protein bars as they run. So of course, another thing to have to argue with them while I'm in labor. I find it so unfortunate that so often you have to fight doctors and hospitals tooth and nail for care the way you want it. But so anyways, when I go into labor I'll be making a couple quarts of laborade (my first midwife's recipe) that has fresh lemon juice, raw honey, good grey sea salt and powdered calcium. I haven't decided what I'm going to bring to eat. I guess I need to do that today. I have a GREAT light veggie pasta I made last night for dinner that I would love to bring as a cold salad should I go into labor today. Though I'm tired. Let's not go into labor today K? Wow this pregnancy/labor part is a tad longer than I expected. You're all snoring by now I'm sure. So I'll move on.
Of course there's tons of stuff to talk about still but I'll end it here for now. I'll take pics of the house, chickens, pregnant me, etc. and come back with an actual post of some interest tonight or tomorrow.
I just want to end by thanking everyone who emailed and commented and missed me. I love all ya'll. :) On a quick side note. Having been off the net for 2 months there are surely TONS of emails I got from everyone. BUT here's the issue. My mom, not realizing it might be BAD, called and canceled her comcast internet account and all my limbo emails were lost. So any and all emails, friendly, work-related, from around May 23-now have been lost. My new email is on the blog email link and my comments SHOULD come to my new email. I'll go check that now.
Much love to everyone. Until later.
Moi.
